Almost Lovers!
by erickatie
Summary: Sawyers life on the island and his one true love... made a few changes. please read and review!


Almost Lovers: I own nothing. These characters and storyline all belong to Lost and their writing team. This is just for fun, because I love to write and dream of being a writer someday. I hope that you will read, review and enjoy.-Kathy-Lynn Brown

His whole life, he knew that he never really fitted in. His mother and father died when he was young and he vowed to find the guy who took them away from him. He spent his entire life looking in every back alley, every cheap motel, and every crack house around the world. His last endeavor took him to Sydney Australia, another dead end on the road to redemption. He was thirty-two years old and felt like he was forty-five. Life was never a friend of his and he never gave two cents for it. Every day was just another struggle for him to survive.

He had a strange feeling when he boarded flight 815 Oceanic that day, but he played it off and took his seat in the middle section of the plane. He leaned back in his seat, pushed his shaggy, blond hair out of his face, took the magazine the flight attendant had given him and began to read. It would be a long flight to the emptiness that he called home. Everyone that he ever had feelings for, he broke their hearts and left them, he never wanted to feel the hurt he had when his parents died again, so he kept himself from love.

That day the plane crashed, he stood among the remains in the middle of the smoke and screaming passengers. He couldn't help but to think, 'This is it. This is the way I will spend the rest of my miserable life.' For some reason he knew they would never be rescued. He couldn't say that he really cared one way or another. He could get used to this place. The quietness that he could have, the demons that followed him, they couldn't follow him to this God forsaken place. He felt like he could somehow be safe here. Be able to forget.

As the months went on and the more he spent sitting there reading one book after another, he realize that you can't hide from your demons, you have to face them head on. He spent hours on the beach, watching the waves crash upon the rocks, thinking about every mistake that he ever made. Knowing that there was no way of going back and changing any of them. He began to think that this was his purgatory. That this was his punishment, hours and hours of being on a beach with nothing to do but remember.

When he first met Kate; he knew that there was something there. He knew that he could fall in love with her, but he had noticed the way she would look at Jack. How her eyes would sparkle when he was near and she would get all giddy like a school girl with a crush. He knew that he had to get off the island and fast, before his heart was broken again. He had to forget Kate and forget how she made him feel inside. When Michael and Jin built their boat, he was more than determined to be on it.

They must have been on that make shift boat for hours before they shot off the flare gun, hoping and praying that a coast guard or another passing boat would see them. In the darkness another boat had appeared, and he was shot, trying to save Michael's son. The man in a beard, took Walt and disappeared. Jin was lost at sea, Michael and Sawyer were fighting to survive. The next morning when the sunlight came up, they noticed that they had drifted back to their island. Michael knowing that the others had his son, didn't seem to mind as much as Sawyer, who was shot and wanted as far away from that island as he could get.

They pulled themselves up onto the shore, stopping dead in their tracks when they saw Jin running from the jungle, screaming, 'Others! Others!'.

Sawyer was the first to run in the direction of the tall, African, that looked like a brick wall. He had followed Jin from the jungle, carrying a club. A club that Sawyer took to the head knocking him out. He didn't wake up until he, Jin and Michael were tossed into a pit. They were left there alone, screaming for someone to come and let them out for hours, then the roof of the pit was opened again, and this time a girl was tossed in.

Her hair was long, wavy and black, her skin the color of coffee, her eyes a dark brown and her lips were perfect for kissing Sawyer thought to himself. He took her hand and helped her to her feet. Her skin was soft except the few calluses that she lined the edge of her palm. She had obviously been on the island trying to survive for a while now. After they introduced themselves, and found out that she was on the tail end of the plane, Sawyer made his announcement to just how he was going to rescue his new found beauty. However, she didn't seem to agree with him. She took his gun from him and yelled for the tall, African to raise the roof and let her out.

A part of Sawyer wanted to climb out of that pit and beat her to there was nothing left. A bigger part of Sawyer felt like there was something about her. Something that made his heart race, his blood boil and his knees grow weak. He knew that she was different from any of the other girls he had ever loved and left. She was even different from Kate. She was tough, sensitive and he could tell from her eyes that she was an emotional wreck. She was someone that he wanted to get to know.

She must have been gone for about twenty minutes before she returned with the tall guy. She lowered a rope for them to climb out. Sawyer said he wasn't going anywhere, when she threatened to shoot one of them, he said she was bluffing. He said that she wouldn't waste her bullet on them. So she threw a rock and hit him. She allowed Jin and Michael to climb out, but he refused. Sawyer had demons that kept him from letting others in and one of his faults was the fact that he wanted everyone to hate him.

She left him there in the pit, but it wasn't too long, before a blonde hair woman in her mid-thirties appeared and let him out. When he rejoined Michael, Jin and his Spanish beauty, she told them that they would lead her and the other tail-end survivors to their camp. It took what seem like for-ever for them to reach miles of their camp. Then an accident kept them from getting the now, unconscious Sawyer to Jack. Ana Lucia had accidentally shot Shannon. She knew that Shannon's lover would want revenge, just as she did for the death of her baby. When she told Eko the tall, African, that he couldn't just leave her out there, he demanded that she let him get Sawyer to the doctor.

Slowly her group of survivors disappeared into the jungle, following Michael and Jin to their camp. Ana stayed behind with Sayid, tied to a tree. After a conversation she decided to let him go. She followed behind him as he took Shannon's limp body back to the camp for a proper burial. Just as they emerged from the jungle she saw a familiar face. She saw Jack, the guy she had flirted with at the bar before their flight. She stared at him with guilt, hurt and anger in her eyes. He returned her stare with a heartfelt, look of sympathy.

Jack tried as much as he could to help Ana fit in with the others. However, Sawyer was still sick, running a high fever and unconscious. Jack spent most of his time with him. One afternoon, Sawyer whispered, obviously still out of his mind, 'I love her'. Jack stumbled backwards believing that Sawyer was talking about Kate. Jack never spoke a word of what Sawyer had said to him. Jack had hoped it was the fever that was talking.

When Sawyer was back to his self, he watched as Jack and Ana seemed to be getting close. He tried his best to hide his hurt and anger, that here again he had met someone and she had eyes for Jack. He spent a lot of time avoiding both Jack and Ana. Kate seemed to have noticed the connection between Jack and Ana because she was spending more time with him. Any other time that would have made Sawyers day. But he couldn't stop thinking about Ana Lucia. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to caress her with his arms and kiss her luscious lips. How could he compete with Jack?

The day that Ana jumped him and took his gun, he couldn't explain the way he felt. It wasn't like anything that he had ever read in a book. He felt like he had finally found what he had searched the whole world for and his demons were faced and overcome. Later that day when Jack demanded the other guns back from Sawyer, by holding a gun to his head, Sawyer realized that Ana had taken his.

He followed Jack, Locke and Kate back to the hatch were he found her sitting on the couch with a blood soaked blouse. He stood in shock. His heart was ripped from his chest and he didn't know what to do. When Kate said she was dead, he wanted to run out side and find the guy who did this. He wanted to take his life for hers and hope that some way that would bring her back. A life for a life. Instead he made his way back to the creek where they had rumble around just hours ago in the weeds. He remembered the way she felt there in his arms. How her breath smelled of fresh mangos. He fell to his knees and begin to cry, allowing himself to fall to pieces.

When Jack asked for all the guns back, Sawyer brought them to him. They stood in the hatch loading them and getting them ready for the war that they were about to endure. He told Jack that he never even knew her name. Jack told him it was Cortez. Sawyer proceeded to tell Jack about their entanglement and when Jack asked why he was telling him this? Sawyer replied, 'Because you're the closest thing I have to a friend, Doc. And because she is gone.'

It was then that Jack realized that she was the one he whispered that he loved, it was she that Sawyer had asked where she was. It was Ana Lucia who had stolen his heart. Perhaps it was because he saw in her a part of himself. Jack didn't know why, but when Sawyer looked into his eyes and said, 'well at least now we get to kill somebody.' It was then that Jack saw the hurt and knew that Sawyer would never be the same, for he had lost a part of him.

At the graveside, Sawyer stood next to her grave. Before everyone arrived to tell Ana and Libby goodbye, he knelt down next to her grave and whispered, 'goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my almost love.'


End file.
